Sudden Realizations
by Fudgepop543
Summary: While investigating the double homicide of two gay men, Detectives Ryan and Esposito slowly start realizing important things, and it's nothing to do with the murder.  Rated T for possible future chaps and gorey scenes.
1. Chapter 1

"Danny Son, 19."  
>Blood. The first thing he saw was blood. Why was there so much blood? Even in the chipper environment, the happy gleam from the decorations around them, loss seemed to haunt the atmosphere. Ryan circled the dead young man, shaking his head slowly. Danny's eyes were wide and empty. They were uncomfortably deep brown, like Esposito's…<br>"John Mann, 21."  
>Tears, still wet and sad on John's face, glistened in the bright sun. Mixed with blood, it made for a gruesome sight. The way they seemed to still be trickling down the dead man's cheeks was eerie. The sadness and melancholy feeling of the air around them was thick as sludge. Esposito felt his stomach lurch at the incredible sharpness of John's clear blue eyes; at how much it reminded him of Ryan's.<br>"So, Lanie, cause of death?" Beckett's voice cut the two men's thinking short. It was obvious for Danny; a bullet hole was smack dab in the middle of where his heart was. Lanie turned John onto his stomach, revealing another bullet hole in his back.  
>"Bullet to the chest, to the back. By what they tell me, it happened only about 30 minutes ago." She said. Beckett, with an oddly silent Castle behind her, nodded as if she understood everything.<br>"God, this is a real shame…" she muttered, leaning down and examining the bodies. Ryan and Esposito weren't so fast on the intake, though.  
>"Wait… Who's 'they'?" Ryan asked. Beckett faltered and glanced at the two.<br>"You weren't told what they were doing when they got killed?" she asked. The two looked around, frustrated. Of course they hadn't; they'd arrived later than everybody else because of traffic. But the more they looked around, the more the wheels in their heads spun; the fancy decorations, the flowers, the rows of chairs…  
>"This is a wedding." Esposito stated. Beckett nodded.<br>"Whose wedding was it?" Ryan asked. Lanie and Beckett exchanged glanced again, frustrating the two further. Castle, unable to keep quiet despite the fact he'd been reverse-double jinxed again, butted in.  
>"Don't you see? John and Danny's dress ware? The matching roses in their tuxedoes? The same rings on their fingers? They were the ones getting married!" he exclaimed. Suddenly, a sick bubbling feeling rose up within both Ryan and Esposito. No wonder Beckett seemed troubled. The entire team hated cases like this.<br>"So this is probably some homophobic killing?" Ryan murmured. Lanie answered that question.  
>"Well, whoever it is, really wanted to make sure they were dead. From the accuracy of things, unless our shooter was in the crowd and a championship shooter, they used a sniper of sorts." She informed them. Ryan nodded numbly. He and his partner went off to ask the attending guests and possible witnesses.<p>

Ryan and Esposito glanced at each other, then back at the sniffling woman who sat in front of them. Ryan clicked the end of his pen while they waited for her to calm enough to speak; sure, they've had grief-stricken witnesses before, but the woman had been sobbing for thirty minutes without a pause for breath. Finally, when she sucked in a lungful of air, Esposito saw his chance.  
>"So, Ms. Mann, what was your relation to the victims?" he asked quickly before she could start all over again. The woman paused, taking a few shuddering breaths before speaking.<br>"John was my cousin." She said. Esposito scribbled it down in a small notebook while Ryan continued.  
>"Did John have any other family?" he asked. Ms. Mann shook her head.<br>"Not really. His parents died a few years back, and my folks refused to acknowledge him after he announced his relationship with Danny. They live in Texas now." She sniffled. Ryan nodded, writing in his own notebook.  
>"And what was your view on his… sexuality?" Ms. Mann looked as if they had said something disturbing.<br>"Detectives, I loved my cousin very much. I don't even know how you can ask that." She said sourly. The two stammered awkwardly; they hadn't meant to offend in the slightest.  
>"We're sorry, ma'am. It's our jobs to look into every possibility." Ryan said quickly, probably saving the two from a verbal lashing.<br>"Is there anyone who would want to harm John or Danny?" Esposito continued, choosing his words carefully. Ms. Mann's eyes misted up again and the two held their breath.  
>"N-No. Mom and Dad weren't thrilled, but they wouldn't kill anyone. And there's no way they could've found out about the wedding and come from Texas to New York by now, either; they sort of broke off contact once they got to Texas. Everybody else in the family, Danny's included, had nothing wrong with it." She murmured, voice becoming wet with tears. Ryan stood quickly, having asked everything needed.<br>"Thank you for your cooperation, Ms. Mann. We're very sorry for your loss." He said. Esposito, realizing that was all the time needed to be there, scrambled after his partner, anxious to get away before the waterworks started again.

Ryan and Esposito questioned many other witnesses in the crowd, but only one remembered the entire thing through the shock of witnessing a murder; Mrs. Son, Danny's mother. Both detectives hated having to spark back up a painful memory, one the woman's mind was probably already working on burying. But, they ignored the uncomfortable feeling in their stomach as they sat in front of the woman.  
>"So, Mrs. Son, you say you remember exactly in what order it occurred?" Ryan asked quietly. The woman nodded her tears at bay for the moment.<br>"It, uh, happened just so quick, but… But, I remember." She murmured, stammering softly over her own sorrow. The two nodded, silently urging her to go on.  
>"Well, they had, er, just put on the rings…<br>_'You may now kiss the groom.' The preacher announced. John and Danny, eyes bright and sparkling, leaned in for their first kiss as a married couple. As their lips met, applaud burst forth from the audience. Danny laughed against the kiss.  
>'I love you, Johnny…' he murmured happily.<br>'I love you, too, Danny-'  
>BANG!<br>A piercingly loud pop rang through the happy atmosphere. John's eyes flew open at the feeling of hot blood spatter his face. Before he could realize what was happening, the audience was under their chairs, screaming, and Danny was slipping from his hands to crumple to the ground. John quickly leaned over Danny's dead body, eyes wide at the sight of a gaping hole in his new husband's chest. The once-happy tears streaked down his cheeks, now sad and terrified.  
>'Danny?' he begged, silently willing the young man to get back up. But he was only replied with another loud pop and a sudden cold feeling seeping through him as he tumbled to the ground as well.<br>_… and that's really all that I remember." Mrs. Son finished. Her voice caught in her throat, and she quickly lowered her head as not to let her tears be seen. Ryan finished scribbling down the details and gave Esposito a quick glance.  
>"Thank you so much, Mrs. Son. We'll do everything in our power to get whoever did this." He promised. Esposito nodded along. Mrs. Son smiled at them, then gingerly wiped at her eyes as the two went back to Beckett to inform her on all the details.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope you guys liked the last chapter. I decided to put bigger spaces and stuff to make it easier to read, too. This chapter is where it stars getting a bit slash-y. Just barely, though. **

"Hey, bro, are you alright?" Esposito questioned, playfully poking his partner's shoulder. In truth, he himself wasn't feeling too well. Anger and frustration boiled beneath his surface of calm. His grip on the wheel was unnecessarily tight.

"I don't know, man." Ryan sighed from the passenger seat, running a hand through his hair. Esposito's frustration was temporarily cut off by the abrupt though of '_Has he always been that cute when he does that?_', but he quickly cleared his head of thoughts like that. He pulled into his regular parking spot, the two stepping from the vehicle and towards the precinct. When they walked up to their desks, they noticed that Beckett had already set up a board and was furiously scribbling down facts and evidence that could help. The before-death picture of the two men was clipped up. It was a single one with John and Danny standing next to each other, looking as happy as ever. Ryan noticed there was an unopened can of Sprite on Beckett's desk as well, probably from Castle breaking the jinx rule. Everybody knew how much cases like these affected the entire team, and not even Castle was spinning off wild theories like usual.

"So, Beckett, do you have any idea where to start?" Esposito asked. Beckett straightened, exhaling slowly.

"This isn't exactly a normal case. We know motive, we just don't know who. So, let's take a look through the living family tree that wasn't there and see if any of them weren't there and give them a call, okay?" she ordered. Ryan and Esposito nodded, walking out to retrieve files from the victim's family. After they were gone, Castle glanced back at Beckett. Her shoulders were slumped oh-so-slightly, and the corner of her mouth was downturned from the straight line to the point that it was barely noticeable. Of course, Castle was a writer, so he saw little details like that.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Beckett sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, staring at the mostly-bare board.

"They were so young and happy. It's a shame what happened." She muttered. Castle frowned.

"Ryan and Esposito seemed pretty pissed, too." He mused. Beckett knew the two men so well she didn't even turn her head from the murder board.

"They act all tough most of the time, but when it comes to cases like these, they're almost as emotional as you in protective father mode. Castle couldn't stop his slight smile at the stress on the word _almost_. That smile was a chain reaction to brighter thinking, which in turn began his insane theories.

"Maybe John was some sort of spy that decided to go clean and the CIA had to stop him from sharing any secrets, and decided to take out Danny just in case!" Beckett only shook her head and rolled her eyes, leaning back over to begin scribble on the whiteboard.

"And they made sure to do it in one of the most public way possible, with plenty of witnesses?"

Castle paused.

"Yeah, well, no one would suspect them, then." He countered. Beckett noticed he didn't mention the CIA after that. Castle spun off a few more theories containing aliens, time-traveling Nazis, and over-pressured wine bottles, but was cut short by Beckett's cell phone. The piercing sound was cut off as she pressed the 'answer' button and pressed it to her ear.

"Beckett."

Esposito's voice came in through the phone. _"Yeah, we found someone through the records. Turns out, Danny has an uncle; Robert McCord." _

"And?" Beckett urged for more information. Ryan's voice took over, and it was apparent she was on speaker.

"_And he wasn't at the wedding, along with the fact he has two assault charges that happened in the same bar against two gay men."_ Beckett laughed a bit at the pride in her men's voice at themselves.

"_Oh, and he lives four blocks away from the scene." _

"Great. Bring him in."

Beckett sat down, her hands folded calmly. McCord watched her, obviously no idea why he was there. He probably thought he was there for ignoring a parking ticket or not paying for a pack of cigarettes, Castle thought smugly. Through the glass, Ryan and Esposito watched, frowning.

"Where were you in the afternoon hours of 2:30 and 3:00, Mr. McCord?" Beckett asked. The man paused, eyebrows furrowed.

"Why are you asking this?" he questioned. _Guilty_, Castle thought. The guilty ones always ask before answering. Beckett tapped her fingers against the back of her opposite hand.

"Answer the question, Mr. McCord." She ordered. The man seemed to get more and more uneasy by her tone.

"Just tell me why!" he protested. Beckett was never the patient type. All she could think about was John and Danny's family, the bloody, gory scene, and how they'll never get to spend the future together—

"Answer the question, or you'll be charged with withholding information vital to a murder!" she snapped loudly. McCord froze, mouth halfway open.

"Murder? Who was murdered?" he finally managed. His genuine shock and surprise made it obvious he had nothing to do with it, but Beckett still pressed.

"Your nephew, Daniel Son." She informed stiffly. McCord gazed blankly at the table, mouth pressed into a thin line.

"Danny? The-The one with his boyfriend?" he stammered. The hurt and confusion in his eyes suggested even further he was innocent. Castle spoke up from the sidelines.

"Not boyfriend anymore, Mr. McCord; husband. He and John were both killed at their wedding." He said grimly.

"That's awful." He murmured. Castle's tone was so grim, it surprised no one when he spoke McCord's first name.

"What, Robert? I thought you weren't exactly supportive of people like him." He said, eyes hardening. McCord raised his hands defensively.

"Listen, I was drunk both times, okay? I just dislike gays, alright? And, for the record, I love… loved my nephew. Do you have any leads?" he asked. Beckett and Castle glanced at each other. Behind the glass, Ryan and Esposito did the same.

"You."

Eventually, McCord gave them his alibi (that happened to come with a receipt that put him halfway across town at the time of death) and he was free to go. As he walked back through the doors, the four drifted back to the murder board. Beckett uncapped the blue pen and crossed out McCord's name, letting out a breath.

"You know, this is the first time I've never been sure what to think of somebody." Castle mused suddenly. He was met with the three casting confused looks his way, looks that said, _What the hell are you talking about now?_

"I've always been able to tell myself, 'Hey, I like this guy,' or 'God, he's a real jerk.' With him, I sort of hate him for being a bit of a homophobic bastard, but I still have a bit of respect for him for admitting he loved his gay nephew on tape. I'm not sure what to think." Castle explained. Obviously, no one was in the mood for talking, because Ryan and Esposito leaned farther back into their chairs and Beckett simply gazed at the board.

"Alright, guys, how about we go home for the night and see what we can find in the morning." Beckett suggested, glancing at the clock. It read 11:25 pm. Time had seemed to escape all of them. The boys didn't need to be told twice, and got up from their desks and left, leaving only Beckett and Castle.


	3. Chapter 3

**Mmm. Here's where it gets a bit more slash-y. **

Esposito sat heavily at the bar, motioning for a beer. Now that he was away from the disturbances of the case, he was falling right into the disturbances of his own mind. He had buried himself in his work lately to keep himself from thinking about it; _it_ being his odd affection towards his partner. Now that their current case was basically what he's been hiding from, the only thing he could think of was to drown his troubles in alcohol, no matter how cheap and stale it tasted. (The bar he was at wasn't exactly high standards, but it was pretty cheap, just what he needed.) Before he became too drunk, he managed to finger with his cell phone until it was set to off. He didn't need Ryan calling and reminding him all over again.

A few too many beers to count later, he was practically clutching the counter to prevent tumbling from his chair. He vaguely wondered how he was going to hail a cab in such condition, but the haze of drunk fogged up any rational thought. The beer had done its job; there wasn't a single thought in his mind about the case, or Ryan. But, all of that changed when he looked up from his slumped position and saw a pair of sparkling, beautiful blue eyes staring down at him.

"R-Ryan…? What're _you_ doing here?" he slurred. Ryan crossed his arms, shaking his head.

"It's nearly two in the morning on a weekday, you're not picking up your phone, and this is one of the cheapest bars in town. Where else would I be?" he chuckled slightly. He pulled out his wallet and handed the bartender a few bills. Obviously, it was more than enough to pay because the man said nothing else and pretended not to hear a thing.

"But _why_ are you here?" Esposito demanded yet again. Ryan scoffed.

"Dude, you'll probably get yourself run over if you even remotely get within a twenty-foot radius of any vehicle, parked or otherwise. I'm here to pick you up." He smiled. Esposito glared at him for a good ten seconds, willing Ryan's eyes to show some other emotion other than his smooth soberness. They did when he found himself grinning as well; he couldn't be anything but happy that his partner had found him. Ryan motioned for him to get up, but his legs felt like jelly and he nearly fell. Before he could comprehend what was happening, Ryan's arm was wrapped around his waist, and he was helping him stumble towards the door.

Ryan felt a warm, fuzzy pang run up his arm and spread through his body at contact with Esposito. He gritted his teeth and forced himself not to show any signs of what he felt. Of course any partner would help his teammate back home. But, not every partner would know exactly where his teammate would go and what he'd do. Not every partner got an odd, and possibly nice, feeling in his chest when he even remotely thought about his teammate. He had been forced to do this to plenty of other men, being a cop. Some guys just didn't want to go to jail, and others may have been in the same condition as Esposito. But, he just kept walking, the cold air sobering up the drunken man to the point he could steer himself correctly.

"Dude, where are we goooing?" Esposito asked, voice stretching the last word to where it sounded like whining with pure curiosity. Almost like a child. Ryan smiled, but swallowed at the words he was about to say.

"My apartment." He felt Esposito stiffen, but then relax into the loose-jointed bliss that was intoxication. Ryan's apartment was only a few buildings away. The air would (probably) help Esposito come back to the realm of reality, and a cab was money neither of them had to spare. Ryan wasn't exactly sure what they'd do once they got there, but it was better than stumbling around in dark alleyways. Suddenly, Esposito tripped on the curb. The sudden action made Ryan pulled Esposito even closer to him on instinct. He realized he had pulled the man as close to him as possible, but was distracted by Esposito's drunken mumbling.

"Whoa, thanks, man…" Ryan felt something warm and clumsy run up and down his back. It was Esposito, who didn't even seem to realize what he was doing. _Why does he keep doing that?_ Ryan thought to himself. As if his partner heard him, he stopped. But, it snaked around Ryan's back and grabbed his unoccupied hand loosely. He heard Esposito laugh silently.

"Just… come on, man, we're almost there." Ryan muttered, flustered.

The two reached the apartment, Esposito finally sober enough to stand. He shuffled directly to Ryan's red couch, obviously still too drunk to remember he had claimed he thought it was gross after discovering Ryan had got it as 'road kill'. He flopped down at an angle there was plenty of room, but it was unusable. Ryan watched him as he shed off his own coat. The two were silent for a minute, then Esposito waved a clumsy, loose hand at Ryan.

"C'mere, bro." he motioned. Ryan rolled his eyes and stepped closer, leaned against the arm of the couch. He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm gonna come clean with you right now, m'kay?" Esposito said, attempting to sound defined and serious, but came off more like a drunken man in his best friend's apartment lying on the couch. Ryan now raised both eyebrows, but nodded.

"When I saw John… the John guy, it scared me."

That came as a complete shock. The scene wasn't even that gory, and Esposito was a man of war; he's seen far worse than Ryan probably would ever see. Why would he get scared by a simple shooting?

"Why?" Ryan's voice came out a confused whisper in the silent of his apartment. Esposito reached up and loosely grabbed his sleeve, tugging him down to the point Ryan could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Cause of 'is eyes. They looked like yours. For a second I got scared, and I th't it was you that was dead." Esposito murmured quietly, still slurring a bit. Ryan attempted to pull back, but Esposito's strong grip tugged him back down.

"But I was right behind you." Ryan stated bluntly. Esposito smiled, but it looked sad. Ryan didn't know anyone that drunk could pull off such real emotion.

"Yeah, I know. But ever since Lock… Lockwood, I've been real scared that something would happen to you."

Ryan swallowed. He gently pried Esposito's hand from his sleeve, but remained in his stooping position.

"Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to us." He said. Esposito smiled; a real, genuine, sober smile before drifting off to sleep. Ryan realized the feeling had spread from his chest to throughout his entire body. He got up, knowing Esposito was going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow, and slinked to his own room.


	4. Chapter 4

**I have a God-awful case of writer's block right now, so this is sort of a chapter just to clear my head a bit. (And so you don't have to wait without something!) Besides, what's more fun than Esposito with a hangover? (PS: I have no idea when Ryan or Esposito go in for work, so I'll just assume what I have here.)**

Ryan reached out and shook his partner awake, preparing for the complaining that was to come. He smiled as Esposito's eyes cracked open at the new morning sunlight that was gently splayed across his face through the windows. When Ryan was sure he was awake enough not to consider all of it a dream, he prodded Esposito's shoulder and grinned.

"Hey, dude, wake up." He urged. Esposito swatted away his hand and groaned, pulling up the blanket so it was covering his eyes. There was a long silence.

"… When did I get a blanket? I don't remember a blanket." Esposito finally muttered, voice muffled from under the cover. Ryan smirked, placed his hands on the arm of the couch and shook it. It barely budged or shook, but Esposito threw off the covers and sat up, glaring at Ryan.

"Dude, stop. Seriously, stop it." He warned, voice still a bit shaky.

"In case you're wondering, I gave you that after you crashed on my couch. My _roadkill_ couch." Ryan said, ignoring his partner's growls completely. Esposito glanced down briefly, a look of disgust flicking across his features, but then remained his original annoyed state. He swung his legs off the couch, allowing the blanket to drop to the floor. He slumped forward, resting his head in his hands.

"God, how drunk was I?" he murmured. Ryan leaned against the back of the couch.

"Pretty bad; I had to practically carry you up here." He said. _Too loudly_, Esposito thought. His head ached and he felt simply like crap. He honestly couldn't remember exactly what he and Ryan had been talking about when he fell asleep, but Ryan seemed casual, so nothing _personal_. In other words, why had gotten drunk, which he could remember. He probably had just went on and on about something uninteresting and Ryan had played along. He felt a bit disappointed he couldn't remember the carrying part.

"And _why_ did you bring me here?" he asked, head pounding. He heard, or at least thought he heard, an uncomfortable shift from the blue-eyed man.

"Well, you were drunk off your ass and I couldn't afford a cab 'cause I had to pay for your alcohol." Ryan said thoughtfully, remembering how surprisingly expensive the cheap beer had been. He was glad Esposito was looking away because he wasn't sure he could look directly at him after last night. It had nearly pushed him over the edge.

"Why didn't you take me home?"

Ryan scoffed, the slight sound like a firecracker on Esposito's brain.

"I was going to, but you fell asleep as soon as we got here and I was pretty sure you'd be pissed if I woke you up."

Esposito gave an acknowledging 'oh' and was silent. Ryan strode to the kitchen, filling a glass with cold water and giving it to the hung-over man. Esposito drank it gratefully. He glanced at the wall clock and nearly did a spit take.

"It's only 6:00, bro! Why the hell'd you wake me up so early?" he huffed. The sun had just barely begun to rise over the tall buildings, but enough to cast annoyingly bright rays of light into the room. Ryan crossed his arms, standing in front of Esposito and forcing himself to look at him.

"I had the feeling you'd be pretty hung over, and we have work today. I figured to wake you up and give you some extra time to get ready." He paused and stepped back, grabbing something from the counter.  
>"…And for these to kick in." He tossed the small objects to Esposito, who caught them clumsily. The sudden action made his head worse, and he was relieved to see that it was two Tylenol. He swallowed them with a mouthful of water and leaned back into the couch.<p>

"Oh, man, I gotta get back and get some clothes…" he muttered tiredly. Ryan shook his head and held up a plastic bag full of clothes.

"I dropped by your place and picked some up for you. I used that spare key you gave me a while ago. You can hop in the shower, get dressed, and we can get to work." Ryan suggested. Esposito stared at him, eyes squinted.

"And my badge? My gun?"

"Got 'em."

Esposito got up and slinked to the bathroom, head lowered, muttering something along the lines of, "_Maldita sea, me duele la cabeza como el infierno._"

**Okay! I love making Ryan the smooth, in-control one. By the way, Esposito says 'Damn it, my head hurts like hell.' I'm also not sure if Esposito keeps his gun and/or badge at home, but I'm kind of winging this chapter. I just wanted to explain how these two are recovering from their previous night and such. **


End file.
